Once the baby’s born, it can feel like everything baby falls into the mama’s domain. That’s especially true for a mom who primarily breastfeeds. However, it’s just as important that a newborn’s father has ample space and time to bond and care for the baby, too.

It Takes Two (or more) to Help a Child Grow Up

A child benefits from the love, trust, connection, and healthy communication offered by both parents and their different perspectives - and that can be difficult for fathers to achieve if the mother continuously takes over, devalues the father’s role in the parenting, or takes on a “mother knows best,” attitude without meaning to.

The following tips will help your family grow as a more equal, healthy, and sustainable triangle, rather than a single line with two main points (mother-to-baby) with a small father dot hanging on the outside of things.

1. Mom - Give dad and baby some space (and let them work it out)

If you’re a new mom and you’re reading this - I have one very important request: give your baby’s father time and space (without your intervention or commentary) to bond with the newborn. Even the most well-meaning and appreciative mothers begin correcting, advising, or - worse - running in and taking over - because they start to feel like “only Mommy knows what baby needs.” That’s simply not true- and it’s a surefire way for the dad to eventually give up in frustration and throw in the towel.

Your baby benefits from learning different soothing styles and having varying parenting approaches from dad, grandparents, aunts/uncles, etc. So, if you find you can’t stop micromanaging Dad’s time with baby - you’re better off removing yourself during their special time by taking a bath, heading to the gym, grabbing a coffee and an overdue chat with a friend, catching up on social media, etc.

2. Wear the baby regularly

There are plenty of reasons babies bond instantly and primarily with their moms - most of which start with the womb connection. That’s hard for a father to compete with, especially when the mother breastfeeds. However, wearing your baby whenever you can offer him/her that same, close contact - including the rhythm of your heartbeat, the vibration of your voice, your smell, and so on. If s/he falls asleep there - great - forgo the crib and let your body be his/her naptime space.

Hint: If your partner is one of the heartfelt but micromanaging types, get out of the house and wear the baby on a nice, long walk or while running errands. The combination of being close to your body, layers, a blanket if needed, etc., means you can get out there and have some time to yourselves year-round.

If you want to bond with your spouse AND your newborn - we recommend wearing the baby while you do extra household chores, so she can take a bath and feel pampered.

3. Help out with feedings whenever possible

Just like dogs or cats, humans can’t help but bond with those who feed them. We need food to live, so we’re bound to feel bonded to the ones who give us that life-nourishing goodness. When you help out with feedings, make sure to hold the baby just like a breastfeeding mother does - close to your chest and making lots of eye contact.

FYI: Propping the bottle up while you watch the game is better than nothing - but it doesn’t promote as much daddy-newborn bonding.

4. Take over the night shift

The first few weeks (and months, and years...) after the baby comes home are a big learning curve for all involved. Everyone is tired, and that can make for hard times. If your partner is struggling with lack of sleep, create a schedule where you’re taking over entire nights - or portions of nights - to help with feeding, changing, pacing, walking, etc. If the baby won’t stop crying, try a night drive to the soothing white noise of the engine or an aforementioned walk with the baby sling/carrier to keep the crying from stressing out the mama.

5. Give the baby a massage

Babies love a soft, gentle and soothing massage - and it’s a great way to spend face-to-face, eye-to-eye time. You can Click Here to read wonderfully, detailed instructions on how to massage your baby from head-to-toe.

A baby massage might be a lovely way to get up with the morning wake-up call and feeding, allowing mommy to get some extra sleep. Or, you might find that a baby massage becomes a sweet part of your bedtime routine, encouraging healthy sleep habits along with baby bonding.

Your daddy-baby bonding moments are so worth the time, energy, and learning (yes, there will be awkward moments - but those are okay, too!).

If you’d love a priceless, invaluable image of you and your newborn, I’d love to help out. Contact me, Marcela Limon, owner of Lemonshoots - (510) 747-9019 - to set up a newborn session that includes plenty of opportunity for bonding with your newborn- as well as images you’ll both treasure for a lifetime.

5 Sweet Tips to Help Fathers Bond with Their Newborn