How to Know if Your Baby is Ready for Night Weaning

Night weaning. Ugh! It’s a parenting conundrum. You’re exhausted from months of interrupted sleep, but you can’t bear the thought of more agitating, tear-filled nights caused by weaning. So you stick with the interrupted sleep you know, to avoid the more grueling, interrupted sleep if weaning isn’t successful.

You’re stuck in a precious – but vicious – cycle. Every book has a different study proving something contrary to the previous book’s study, and every friend and relative has advice.

What to do?

First, visit Developing Healthy Newborn Sleep Habits. It can be a good way to reframe the ultimate mission, so you can move forward with night weaning with clearer intention and heart.

Center, Breathe, and Ask for a Sign

Only you and your baby know when it’s truly time for night weaning. And, it’s true that it may be a bit of a chore (understatement) from start to finish. However, once you get through those first weeks – weaning typically takes about three to six weeks - depending on your consistency and the innate tenacity of your wee one.

In the meantime, here are signs that you and/or your baby is ready for night weaning.

1. You greet the crying little one with more anger/resentment than exhausted acquiescence

Mothers joke there’s a reason sleep deprivation is used as a means of torture. But it’s not much of a joke at all. Each of us has our own ability to whether lack of sleep and for some, it’s more detrimental than for others. If you’ve reached your personal maximum, honor that.

While no child has ever permanently suffered as the result of night weaning, they certainly feel it when a parent is cranky, short, impatient, and frustrated as a result of lack of sleep. Start weaning and get the sleep you need.

2. S/he is at least five to six months old (and avoid flu season and teething spells)

Always check with your child’s pediatrician before night weaning to get the final, “okay.” You want to ensure baby is at a healthy weight and stage of development. Prior to the five- to six-month period, most babies need those extra nighttime calories. Babies typically wean easier if they’re eating solid foods, which last longer in their bellies if you feed them a good dinner before their bath, nighttime feeding, and bedtime routine.

If your pediatrician says, “go for it,” you’ll be more successful if you wait until the end of flu season and are in between teething bouts.

3. Determine whether feedings are “caloric need” or “soothing only” feeds

Sometimes, especially with active babies, nighttime feedings stretch well into the first year or longer. Nighttime feedings allow them to play catch up due to active daytime bodies, brain development, and fast metabolisms.

You know your baby is hungry and needing calories when s/he drains a full breast or both breasts, or the entire bottle, before immediately falling back to sleep. Other times, babies get used to “feeding time/mommy time” as “soothing time.”

You know your baby is more interested in soothing than feeding if s/he wakes repeatedly after feedings, eats a little and then plays a little before falling back to sleep, or s/he falls immediately back to sleep before remotely finishing a breast or a bottle.

In that case, it’s time for baby to learn to self-soothe so you – and s/he – can get better sleep.

Schedule for Nighttime Weaning

There are a million (and I don’t think I’ve exaggerated) resources for weaning a baby at night. I like this simple version from raisingchildren.net, with simple-to-follow steps for both breastfed and bottle-fed babies.

Know When to Say “When,” and Try Weaning Again Another Time

You might find that the emotional strain of weaning is the sign that you and your baby aren’t quite ready. In that case, know when to say “when,” and postpone weaning for a while. As a smart woman was quoted on a Breastfeeding USA forum:

How often are new mothers asked, 'When do you plan to make him walk?' Sounds silly, doesn't it, because we KNOW that babies will walk when their bodies are ready to do so. Same thing with talking. So why don't we believe that they will stop nursing when they are physically and mentally able to do so?

These are wise words. Losing sleep is miserable, but perhaps the difficulty you’re having weaning is the sign that it’s not quite time yet for either of you.

Recommendations for Making Weaning Easier

So, the idea of “easy weaning” may be an oxymoron, but there are things you can do during the day to support nighttime weaning.

1. Get plenty of outdoor time – rain or shine

We’ve learned a lot about daylighting and it’s positive effects on the circadian rhythm. Studies have shown that babies who get a healthy dose of sunlight (even through the clouds) sleep better at night. Try to get outside via walking, playing or picnicking in the park, or even a quick dash around the block with your grateful dog each day.

2. Hone in on food sensitivities (including caffeine and decaf)

Even the slightest tummy upset causes nighttime wakefulness that stymies weaning. Pay really close attention to potential food sensitivities – including reactions to food dyes. If you breastfeed, note what you eat and how it affects baby’s sleep/waking patterns. Try to avoid caffeinated products and dark chocolate after noon. And, some babies are even sensitive to decaf products (which still have traces of caffeine).

3. Get your partner on board

This is especially helpful for breastfeeding moms. Those breasts and pheromones are a powerful force. It’s a rare baby who weans easily if you’re trying to give him/her a bottle, water, or a nurse-free cuddle when the breasts are right there.

Get your partner involved in the weaning process, teaching baby there are other people and other ways to glean comfort and security.

4. Consider moving the crib into your bedroom (if it’s not there already)

For some babies, the ability to smell their parents and hear them breathing right in the same room is the foundation of comfort and security. The crib in the room also means close-proximity to soothe without weaning once the breast or bottle is out of the equation.

At first, it might mean getting up to stroke the baby’s back or rest a hand on him/her with soothing words before returning to bed. Eventually, a gentle word or reassurance is enough, and then baby is ready to sleep in his/her room again.

5. Try to get extra rest in the meantime

The irony is that you’re probably going to lose more sleep, rather than gain it, during the weaning process. Assuming it takes about three to four weeks, start calendaring ways to get extra sleep. This could mean naps whenever possible, having your partner take baby on weekend mornings so you can sleep-in, or going to bed at least 30-minutes or earlier than normal.

As a professional maternity and newborn photographer, I am continuously reminded that every mother and child has the answers for each hurdle or challenge that comes their way. Trust your wisdom and instincts, and do what’s right for you.

Please contact me here at Lemonshoots if you’d like to capture that timeless wisdom and love in action by scheduling a newborn photography session.