What Your Newborn Really Needs
There is so little an infant actually needs. The shortest list looks something like Love, Warmth, Care, Nourishment, Physical Touch, Shelter, More Love, Hygiene, and Cuddles - not necessarily in that order and always on repeat.
Of course, baby product manufacturers and social media influencers would have you feel differently.
Newborns Need Far Less Than You Would Think
Today, I want to focus on the six things you truly need for a newborn post-birth. Spoiler alert: most have nothing to do with “things.”
I can’t call myself a newborn and postpartum parent expert, but I proudly consider myself highly experienced in newborns and postpartum parents - including their actual needs.
Why? Because as a Bay Area maternity and newborn photographer, I spend a lot of time in the studio with - very fresh babies and their parent(s). This provides a compassionately objective perspective parents cannot have when “they’re in it.”
6 Things Your Newborn Really Needs
One of the things I’ve learned is that newborn babies need so so so little to thrive. And I’ve also witnessed that infants suffer and are far more agitated when their parent(s) and caregivers try to do it all and provide too much.
So, in honor of that, I want to talk about the short list of things and experiences newborns need to feel seen, cared for, safe, and loved.
Transparent and unabashed love (or care)
I’m putting “or care” intentionally because it’s okay if you don’t swoon in uncontrollable waves of love after your baby is born. Some people fall instantly in love with their baby, while others grow into it; that is totally normal, moms and dads! Read What if You Don’t Fall In Love With Your Newborn Right Away for a beautiful testament to that. However, babies do need unabashed, tender care.
They’re vulnerable, emotions are unregulated (sound familiar?), and babies are not ashamed to express it all. Whether you’re madly in love with your baby or simply learning and growing with them as you deepen into bonding and love, they need to be held, caressed, soothed, and to have their emotions reflected back to them. Infants need to be as close to you or another caregiver as possible to regulate their biological and psychological rhythms. All of those are infinitely more valuable than the most beautiful nursery space in the world.
That essence of unabashed love and care begins a running theme for the rest of this list.
A timeless and spacious calendar (aka, a parent with boundaries)
Babies do not have any idea what you planned to do - and when - after they were born. They don’t know about any six weeks before this or two weeks until that, or what the trendiest baby carrier is in any given second. They are on their own timeless rhythm and fare best with caregivers who throw calendars, expectations, and set-in-stone plans to the wind.
For these first few weeks and months, your every answer to any requests, visits, events, or other calendar demands should be “Maybe…” Leave it at that (I also recommend learning to say “no” without any shame or regret). You’ll know about 10 minutes before anything on the calendar whether it’s actually going to work for you or not - always honor your and the baby’s needs.
Your baby is still adjusting to the new nighttime and daylight schedule, which can take weeks or a few months to regulate. Go with that. Forget about when you’re supposed to sleep, eat, rest, and wake. Instead, synchronize with your baby. Over time, things will return to “normal” again - but any expectations outside of that can cause unbelievable stress and angst.
High-quality nourishment (and well-nourished parents)
If you’re choosing to breastfeed, know the way may not be anything like you expect it to be, and have lots of resources at hand to support you wherever the breastfeeding journey may take you. If you opt to bottle feed, have a pediatrician or midwife help you select the best formula available.
In the meantime, the baby also needs high-quality nourishment from their mama. A healthy, abundant postpartum diet is essential to mothers’ postpartum well-being. Quick, processed, sugary, carb-rich, fatty snack foods are not sustainable. Being well-nourished not only supports postpartum healing, but it also gives you an edge over the inevitable exhaustion and stressful nights/days that arise during early parenting life.
If you don’t have the time you thought you would to prepare or shop for healthy meals and snacks, take advantage of others’ offers of help, MealTrain signups for friends and family, or enlist help from a professional chef specializing in maternity and postpartum health.
Some basic essentials
Okay, so some things are certainly needed to make life easier and keep everyone more comfortable, healthy, and sane. But they’re only a handful of items, rather than the pages of items you see in a typical baby shower registry.
The newborn essentials include:
Clothes that are soft and easy on/off for multiple changes per day
An ergonomic baby carrier so caregivers can wear them as often as possible
Clean/sanitized bottles and nipples (and a breast pump to share feeding responsibilities with others - giving the baby extra love and the mother a much-needed break)
Honestly, that’s about it. The rest can wait, saving you the hassle of repacking and donating all of the things you never used anyway.
A mom (and caregivers) with postpartum healing and wellness awareness
It’s easy for the blur and hormonal craziness of postpartum life to prevent mothers from knowing which way is up regarding postpartum healing and wellness. The more you and close loved ones understand about postpartum recovery, the better your baby will be because stress, angst, depression, lack of sleep, etc., are more likely to be proactively recognized and addressed. Mothers who take care of themselves, and trust others to help care for them and their babies, are typically the healthiest and most rested mothers of all.
If you or someone you love is pregnant, make sure you understand the signs of postpartum depression. Share information with everyone (age-appropriately) in the family so a floundering mama is rescued sooner rather than later.
Your newborn really needs space to bond with others
If you’re home with the newborn all day, it’s easy to become codependent, enabling, micromanaging control freak without meaning to. Pretty soon, nobody else but you knows how to hold a baby. But the reality is lots of people know how - and everyone is capable of learning.
There’s also something to be said about letting close family members and loved ones bond with your baby in their own ways, letting your baby experience different ways to be loved, fed, put to sleep, changed, played with, etc. That’s what builds well-rounded resilience. Allowing your baby to bond with others - and vice versa - is also the only way you’ll ever create the space, time, and rest you need to prevent new parenting burnout.
Bonus Need: Amazing photos of this fleeting time
It might feel endless, but it’s fleeting. It’s amazing to watch babies grow from newborns to infants and then into babies and toddlers. It’s rapid-fire, and the infant stage is the most fleeting of all. Try your best to capture snapshots from the get-go, so you have a testament to those tiniest, earliest times.
If you didn’t already schedule a session with a newborn photographer, and DIY photos aren’t doing your infant justice, it’s not too late. Schedule a session with a professional photographer who can capture the magical essence of this time so you and your baby can reflect back upon it for decades to come.
Lemonshoots Supports Your Newborn’s Needs & Captures Priceless Images
I’m passionate about taking artistic photographs of pregnant women, newborns, and the people (and pets) that love them. The Lemonshoots studio is all about safety, comfort, and compassionate welcoming of whatever you and your baby bring to the session. The love we feel for babies and their caregivers transfers through to every image I take. Contact me to schedule your newborn session.