Tips For Soothing A Crying Baby
A baby’s cry is designed to pierce the hearts of those who hear it, increasing the baby’s chances of being answered, responded to, and comforted in whatever way they need. Of course, you should always let your midwife and pediatrician know if your baby seems unusually fussy, uncomfortable, or irritable so they can evaluate things.
9 Tried And True Ways To Comfort A Baby Who’s Crying
That said, it’s not always easy to get to the heart of why a baby is crying, and experts don’t often agree on how long to let them cry before soothing them or whether they sometimes just need to “cry it out” which can often seem like the case.
When we have newborns here in the photography studio, we prepare for whatever may occur - including a fussy or crying newborn. As a result, we’ve learned some tried and true tricks for soothing babies who seem more upset than normal.
Check your current emotional state
Babies are energetic sponges. In their fresh-out-of-the-womb, nonverbal, and completely dependent on others' state of being, babies receive a tremendous amount of information from the energy around them. A nervous, anxious, frustrated, or upset caregiver may feel like they’re keeping calm on the outside, but the baby in the room will pick up on it.
Of course, there’s nothing wrong with intense emotions**; that’s a normal part of the new parent experience. However, learning to take deep breaths (exhaling for a couple of counts longer than the inhale resets your nervous system) and using other calming tools can help settle your baby, too.
It’s also okay to express your feelings to your baby. This is a great way to begin modeling healthy emotional processing. “I know, sweetheart, Mommy/Daddy feels so tired and cranky today. I bet you notice.” The very act of naming what you feel can release that emotion a bit for you, and that has a trickle-down effect.
**NOTE: It’s important that you and those closest to you know how to recognize signs of postpartum depression. It can creep up on you, and it is very normal. Knowing what to look for and letting your primary caregiver in on it can ensure you and your baby have the support you deserve.
Practice swaddling techniques
Not all babies love swaddling, so this one depends on the baby. However, newborns still remember being tucked nice and cozy in the womb, and the world can feel like a flailing and ungrounded place until they gain more motor control.
Learning how to swaddle your baby and trying it out at different times and in varying situations can help you know when and how to use swaddling as a comfort tool.
Give them skin-to-skin time whenever you can
Baby carriers and bouncy seats are some of the most appreciated items by new parents. However, newborns are hardwired to be skin-to-skin, or body-to-body, as much as possible - especially during those first few months.
Just as a hungry baby provides physical cues - called hunger cues (see next) - before they cry, your baby may go over the top in agitation from not being held enough. It’s not always easy, especially if you’re trying to get things done around the house, but even five or ten minutes of time together may be enough to make them feel safe, secure, and soothed again.
Keep a crying/fussing journal & look for patterns/triggers
You may find that your baby’s longest or most difficult-to-soothe crying sessions are triggered by something specific. Keep a basic record of when they started crying inconsolably. You may find that it’s linked to:
Being hungry for too long. If babies have to wait too long to be fed, they can get so worked up that feeding is more challenging, even though it’s what they need. Babies use all kinds of “hunger cues” to signal they need to eat before they fuss or cry, so try to offer them the breast or bottle at the first sign of their hunger cue rather than waiting for the fuss/cry.
Gas. A little gas bubble causes extreme discomfort for babies. Holding your baby and gently patting or rubbing their back may help those gas bubbles move up (or down) and out, relieving their discomfort.
Diaper irritation. Even if they don’t have a notable rash, they may be irritated in their diaper zone. If you notice any signs of redness, irritation, or inflammation (even if it’s not a rash), it can be a sign that they need to be changed more often or that some diaper salve/ointment is needed to protect their tender skin. You may also want to try a few different types of diapers to see if the diaper material is irritating.
Overstimulation. Babies have to field far more stimulation than ever before. We take them into crowded spaces, heavily lit public environments, places with strong scents and loud noises, and they may be surrounded by screens (which are not good for them). Many babies are very sensitive to overstimulation, so honoring that and keeping stimulation to a minimum makes them feel more safe and secure.
Your diet. If you’re breastfeeding, your diet may play a role in any tummy discomfort the baby experiences. Some of the most common foods that affect babies and make them more fussy or prone to colic include dairy products, garlic, spicy foods, caffeinated drinks, cruciferous veggies (broccoli, cabbage, onions), etc. Some foods may be fine when cooked but not raw. Speak to your pediatrician about a breastfeeding elimination diet, tracking whether removing certain foods helps your baby’s tummy. You can often go back to eating them when your newborn is a little older.
Tracking when the baby cries and seeing if you and others close to the baby notice any patterns can help support their comfort and well-being.
Consider their core body temperature
We tend to overdress and over-blanket newborns in our efforts to “keep them warm.” While it’s true that babies can’t regulate their own core and body temperatures until around nine months old, they only require the same level of warmth/cooling as we do.
Signs your baby is too hot:
You’re hot, and they’re wearing more (or are covered more) than you are.
Red flushed face.
Damp hair or sweaty neck.
They’re warmer than normal to the touch (especially if their hands or feet are warm or hot).
Unsettled and waking up more than normal (not related to growth spurts or teething)
Signs your baby is too cool:
You’re feeling chilly, and they’re dressed the same or lighter than you.
Shivering.
Skin feels cool to the touch.
They look pale.
Unsettled and waking frequently
If they’re too far on the side of hot or cold, they’ll be far fussier and harder to soothe than normal.
Take a walk outside
Nature has a remarkable effect on most babies. Just taking a baby outside can make them startle into awareness and calm. Babies are usually smitten with fresh air, chirping birds, different images/sounds, and the movement of the wind or breeze in the leaves.
Try walking them while holding them or in the stroller. Sometimes, the stroller's movement is soothing and calms their cries.
Experiment with motion
Some babies love to rock, others like to jiggle. I’ve heard of babies who were only soothed by being driven in a car until they fell asleep and those that like the vibration offered by certain baby carriers, bouncy devices, baby swings, rockers, and so on.
Keep trying new ways of holding, rocking, and moving with your baby - even put on a slow song and dance with them while singing or humming, and see if certain motions soothe them more than others.
Give them a bath (or take one with them)
Sometimes, getting into a warm bath is as soothing for babies as for parents. You could have the baby in the bathtub with you for some extra bonding and relaxing time, or set them in the warm water of their own baby bath - but leave the cleaning part out of it. For this soothing exercise, let the warm water be enough—there is no need to wash them. Just talk or sing to them soothingly and see if the change in environment and comforting warm water help them calm down.
Being with them in their discomfort
Earlier, I wrote about how speaking your feelings while soothing your baby can help ease the internal angst they’re picking up on. Similarly, there are times when a person - baby or not - simply cannot be comforted. Instead, they need to let it out, and the most loving thing you can do is to be there for them. Simply tell them, “I’m so sorry. I’ve tried everything I can think of, so for now we’ll just be together while you cry.”
If picking them up seems to irritate them more, leave them lying down and see if letting them hold your finger or rubbing their back or tummy helps. Continue speaking words of comfort, love, and compassion. This is the first of many days and nights you’ll spend as a parent unconditionally loving your child when they are emotionally upset or physically hurting. Sometimes, your calm, steady presence is all that’s required.
Don’t Let A Crying Baby Prevent You From Invaluable Photo Opportunities
We know that those first few weeks and months with a newborn baby can be challenging, making you feel intimidated at the thought of attending your newborn session. However, Lemonshoots is 100% ready, willing, and open to spending time with you and your fussy baby. I’ve even been called a “baby whisperer” a time or two because of my knack for soothing crying babies while taking the most precious photos you’ve ever seen.
Have questions or concerns about your upcoming photo session? Give me a call at (510) 747-9019 or contact me online. I’m confident we’ll find a way to ensure you and your baby get to experience the magic.